You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
