Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
