I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
