i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
