Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
