Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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