and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize