Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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