Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize