I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
