how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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