some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
