her vagine was all disorganized.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
