Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
