Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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