I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
