I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
