I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
