If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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