I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
