Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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