Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
