No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
