I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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