So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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