is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
