Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Enjoy the penises
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
