just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
