so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
