I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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