I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
