Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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