I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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