did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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