I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
pray to the hookup gods
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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