I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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