question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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