tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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