Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I puked a lego.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
