The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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