A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
