Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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