I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize