i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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