you didnt know i had herpes?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
