GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
