feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
