I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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