You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
tell me about the fingering
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