I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
