oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
