Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
