i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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