At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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