My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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