wat bout pragnant strippers??
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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