new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
