New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
