brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
