Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
