Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
